Keeping the Sun
by Melpomene melancholica
Summary: Naruto, unable to sleep, sought his old jouninsensei Kakashi and has a conversation about Icha Icha books and some other things to come in his life. NaruHina hints


Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, etc. Borrowing for the purposes of entertainment, procrastination, and basically, escapism.

**Keeping the Sun**

_-Melpomene Melancholica_

The sun had already been gone for two whole hours and the sky was cloudless, glittering with its usual collection of nightly gems. That sweltering summer night, the moon was nowhere in sight. Perhaps, the silver lady had gone to fraternize with her fiery counterpart, the lordly sun who monopolized the firmament in the morning.

It was a curious thing. The sun was god for most of the day, its bright rays somehow reaching even the thickest part of the forest. Yet few ever realized the sun could get lonely, too, not till it's ready to sink unto that daily inevitable banishment, not till the horizon was crimson from weeping.

At that late hour, people could still be seen strolling along the streets of Konohagakure no Sato, anticipating the caresses of the whispering night breeze. Among those restless souls was a jounin, blond hair wild and blue eyes twinkling. But he traveled high, instead of meandering in the main thoroughfares or the tracing the little lanes of packed earth, leaping from one roof top to the next. He relished the feel of cooler air blowing against his face and neck, appreciated how nature's breath managed to snake its way through the crevices of his flak jacket and to soothe the sweaty skin adhering to the spandex underneath.

He alighted on a rooftop, cat-like eyes glinting in that darkened sector of the town. In the opposite building, the wide-spanning window glowed with candlelight, suffused by supple wooden blinds that stirred with the wind. It was probably dim inside that room, but being the sole light source in the area, the candle inside served as a telltale beacon for blocks around. Naruto shook his head and decided to take the matter up with his friends - again.

But not tonight. Not tonight, of course. He wouldn't even dare go near to verify whether or not the room's occupants were asleep now, as he inferred, lest he heard sounds that were not meant for his ears, exchanges of endearments or perhaps something more private, more primal.

Once he had seen their silhouettes in that same window, through thick and heavy winter drapes, seen them locked in that intimate dance between man and woman, glimpsed the achingly beautiful rhythm shared by two strenuously trained bodies. For a week, he could barely look at either in the eye, ashamed of himself for accidentally seeing something he definitely didn't want to, never wanted to.

So Naruto left the property of the Uchiha and went in search of his lazy-eyed jounin sensei of old to seek answers. Sasuke and Sakura might have been helpful to him, but they were indisposed right now. Besides, if he didn't convince them quickly enough that he wasn't up to anything (why was he always suspect anyway?), he'd suffer bloody violence in their vindictive, synergistic hands.

As for Iruka-sensei… Well, he could almost imagine him sputtering and blushing and getting all creative with his ridiculous fable about birds and bees and flowers and nectar and aphrodisiacs. Naruto would probably laugh at his poor mentor's face, in spite of himself. Iruka probably loved Naruto like a son, but even that wouldn't stop him from beating the pulp out of the impertinent blond.

Jiraiya was a self-proclaimed super pervert. Enough said.

Kakashi, however, seemed perfectly in the middle of Iruka and the Ero-sennin. Naruto found him a few blocks away from the Copy-Nin's apartment building. The silver-haired man was stretched out on a hammock of woven grass that was hanging from two of the stocky but sturdy trees surrounding the little playground his preschool neighbors frequented. The yellow gaslight of the street lamp made the deserted enclosure even more lonely, the solitude of the thirty-something ninja more potently felt. Naruto couldn't help but think that his old teacher was there for the exact reason.

"Finally found you, sensei."

Technically, they were peers now, but then, a sensei would always be a sensei. Thus, Naruto gave honor and respect to whom it was due.

"Isn't it a little too dark here?"

Kakashi opened his visible eye to peer up at his old student. "Old habits are hard to break," he replied. "I obviously can't read a single word but"

"Holding the book before you is comforting and you already know what's happening in that page by the thickness of the book, I know." Naruto gave a mock sigh. "That's the great and divine secret you shared when I turned eighteen."

Though the older man was shadowed, Naruto saw his eyes crinkle with a fond smile. "But you find it useful, don't you? The Icha Icha trick? It annoys and imbalances your students, but it does make them think you can see in the dark."

"And we can, sort off." Naruto plopped down on the dusty ground where countless footsteps and the searing sun had balded the turf. "Say, sensei, did you really fall for that falling-board-eraser trick I pulled on you the first time we met?"

Kakashi nonchalantly turned a page of Icha Icha Transcendence. "Haven't you learned over the years of my heart-rending generosity?"

Naruto sighed in defeat. "I thought so," he muttered. "Damn. I didn't want to intimidate them the first day, and I thought an eraser on the head wouldn't kill me anyway… but I really didn't expect that bucket of raw squid, those little punks."

"Your new students _are_ still alive, aren't they?" asked Kakashi dryly.

"So far." Naruto grinned evilly. "There's still the bells test though. I don't have to get attached to them yet."

"Which is tomorrow? Busy day."

"Nah. Next week. The little brats get lucky."

Kakashi scratched his head. "Well, I can proudly say I've never been late for more than two days."

"Considering we would have been dead the third day, thanks a lot."

"You're very welcome, but you're not here to reminisce, right?" Kakashi became serious. "Spill it."

"I'm getting married tomorrow," Naruto answered simply.

"Oh, really?"

"If you're just gonna shit with me-" the junior growled.

"No, I mean, it's _tomorrow_?"

"…"

"So that's why Hokage-sama didn't give me a mission. And I was planning on visiting that new red-light district in-"

"You're part of the entourage, dammit! Would you mind at least turning up? On time?"

"I was just joking." Kakashi looked oddly whipped.

Naruto sighed. "I need your help."

"As long as it's not in escaping. Even I don't want to cross the clan of Hyuuga."

The lanky young man snorted. "I'm not like Neji."

"That caused Hyuuga a lot of embarrassment, didn't it?"

Naruto shrugged. "They delivered the wrong bride, so he ran off to fetch the right one."

"It's called kidnapping, Naruto."

"Whatever. Tenten seemed to like it."

"Being kidnapped?"

"Why not? Eloping sounds kinda fun. He he."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Can we head off that kind of problem?"

"Huh?"

"Was the SaTsu-gumi out to get you?"

Naruto blinked. "Sakura-chan and Tsunade-obaachan, you mean? You're asking if they forced me into this? Heh. You think I'd back down against them? Of course, not. 'Sides, I know who I'm marrying, sensei. Why would I get married if I didn't want to?"

"I don't know, Naruto. You're just notoriously unpredictable at the most inconvenient moments."

"Are you listening or not?"

"I am, I am." Kakashi sat up lugubriously. "You seem really fixated on this problem of yours. Okay, start talking."

"Well..." Naruto began. "There's this... I mean—Er, yeah. I... Ugh."

"Ah." Kakashi nodded solemnly. "Interesting."

The lanky young man groaned helplessly.

"I'm not mocking you." Surprisingly, Kakashi crinkled his eye at him kindly. "I just thought Jiraiya would have given you this talk already."

Naruto's face was decidedly purple, and it wasn't due to the cast of the eve's scanty light.

"Oh, so he did. That traumatic?"

"I was thirteen," the young man began, a wild look crossing his visage. "We were staying at this village in Wind country, when I opened the door to our hotel room and saw-"

"Ah! No need to share the lecture to me verbatim."

Naruto blinked. "Actually, he said some pretty interesting things about you, sensei."

"Like I said, that was a private talk between you and the Frog sennin. I totally respect that."

"But, hey, is it true you sneaked into Kiba's sister's room and got bitten in the-"

"This night is about you, not me," interrupted Kakashi, wearing a suspiciously beatific smile. "So what are you worried about exactly?"

"Well, the Hyuuga's can get pretty ceremonial."

"Ah yes. You get bombarded by a series of involved rituals from dawn till dusk tomorrow. It culminates with that prayer over the wedding bed."

"Yeah, that's what's worrying me."

"But you've practiced these things with your fiancee before. It's not like you to be so unconfident."

"After the wedding bed ritual, they leave us alone. We're expected to do things, right?"

Kakashi scratched his head. "The wedding bed ritual sounds pompous and all that, asking for dozens of strong white-eyed children, but they're not really expecting you to miraculously open the skies and rain down babies."

"Yes, but we'll be making the babies. And we start that night."

"Uh... It really is none of my business when you started, Naruto. Or how much practice you've had." Kakashi's expression was somewhat pious, as far as Naruto could tell. "Or with whom. That's too much information for me. Of course, I can probably correctly guess those things, knowing you."

"Che," muttered the blond, miffed at his sensei's insinuations. "At least, I didn't hire whores to teach me."

"Ah, so that's why Sasuke didn't ambush me the night before his wedding. I was surprised he didn't come begging for me to impart my vast knowledge on eroticism. I mean, what with his baby-making obsession, I-"

"Not Sasuke. Ero-sennin said—Gah! Forget him."

"Seriously, I hope Sasuke did lose his virginity to Sakura, though."

Naruto's nose was crinkled in disgust. "Shit, I don't need to know those things!"

"Yeah, but considering he stayed with Orochimaru for three years..."

Naruto stared at his senior, face turning to a sickly green color. "Ass raped? I don't think even Sasuke'd pay that for power. But that snake guy... Sick."

"I thought you knew Orochimaru had a sick mind."

"I do. And that's what I'm saying. I've been a ninja since I was twelve. I've seen things, sensei."

Indeed, he had. He had taken down all sorts of criminals; once he had come upon a serial rapist in the very act of sullying a child. His rage had been unbelievable then, and he was shocked at himself afterwards when he realized he only allowed the criminal to live simply because he didn't think death was punishment enough. Some of the amusements of his clients were no less disturbing, but the people involved seemed to enjoy themselves, and Naruto never saw it fit to interrupt after getting in trouble the first few time he did. The disgust he felt was mingled with something else, something that made his heart thunderous, his breathing conspicuous, and his face inflamed. That wasn't the worst part. He felt those things, too, when around certain people, had vague shameful thoughts that flitted about his head.

"And then," he continued. "I compare those things I've seen with himself. When I'm with her... sometimes, what I think and what I feel" His oddly whiskered face was bemused. "I'm perverted, too. What makes me different then? What makes it different when you're married?"

Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Let's see if I can give you a satisfying answer," he murmured. "For starters, don't you think you're oversimplifying things?"

"Actually, I thought that's how things are supposed to be," Naruto answered, eyebrows meeting in his effort to pick the right words. "We just like to complicate things, when they're not. Like feelings. Feelings change quickly. They're not really _us_. Did that make sense?"

"Emotions don't define a person, you mean?"

"Right," the boy continued, this time more confidently. Yes, he had thought about this over and over before. He could ask about his problem. He could do it. "And sometimes, thoughts are just thoughts. Sometimes, you just wonder about things. Thoughts aren't permanent either. Love is different. Love is... just love. I love her - I just do. It's simple that way. If I just ignore those thoughts I-"

"Stop."

"Huh?"

Kakashi's sleepy eye was watching him, raptor-like, but when he spoke, it was almost gently admonishing. "Don't separate the two, love and lust. She is a woman. You desire her as a woman. I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Are you plagiarizing from Icha Icha Tactics?" interrupted Naruto suspiciously.

Kakashi ignored him. "You're marrying her. Why?"

"Well." Naruto ran a hand through his spiky hair, slightly surprised he wasn't struggling with the question at all. "I want to be with her. Always. All those cheesy things they say about wanting to wake up every morning with the person you love, about walking down new paths together. They're true for me."

The silver-haired jounin grinned. "You're honest."

Naruto turned his head away, feeling his cheeks burn. "You think?"

"I think she balances you, grounds you."

"Yeah."

"She complements you. You complement her."

Naruto snorted. "She's quiet, I'm loud; she's timid, I'm brash. That old crap?"

"Not only personality-wise. I mean, as nature intended it. Man and woman. You make a whole. People tend to equate sex with the indecent. Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe it just depends. When it's in porn or when people gossip about it." Naruto shrugged. "Somehow it becomes an ugly thing, like it's something you have to hide."

Kakashi nodded. "I think so, too. Lovemaking is a private exchange between two people. The mere physical act can transcend even beyond intimate communion into something incorporeal, depending on the people involved. When you air out sex like laundry, when you oversimplify what is already simple... you disregard the indefinable, indescribable aspects of it."

Naruto was quite embarrassed, hearing his old teacher speak like this. He felt somewhat stupid; after all, he came to Kakashi precisely because he wanted to hear about these things. Still, it seemed somehow out of character at first. And yet, it wasn't. It was somehow very Kakashi - in a weird sort of way.

The Copy Ninja suddenly sighed. "I'm just rambling here, but take my words seriously. Eh Naruto?"

His gut tightened unexpectedlyKakashi did sound deadly serious. "I will, sensei."

"You respect her, don't you?"

"Of course," he answered fiercely.

"Then she is your focus. What she wants, what she needs, what her comfort zone is... ask her aloud or discover them yourself."

"That's... hard. You know how Hinata-chan is sometimes. What if I'm"

"Do you trust yourself?"

"Uh, yeah?" Naruto said dubiously. "I guess, but..."

Kakashi merely nodded. "Do you trust her?"

"Naturally."

"Then you'll be just fine."

"But" Naruto's face was still slightly puzzled.

"You always were bad when it came to lectures," remarked the older man ruefully. "You learn better when you do things."

Naruto coughed.

"Relax, kid. After tomorrow, we can start discussing technical problems, if you have any. Then, after you master the basics, I'll teach you the art."

"..."

"Hey, I _am_ your teacher."

"You're a perverted bastard."

Kakashi shrugged.

"I don't think you qualify as a marriage counselor."

"I never said I do. But I am Konohagakure no Sato's number one technician, only second to the late Sandaime Hokage-sama. He taught Jiraiya, Jiraiya taught the Yondaime, the Yondaime taught me... It's only right I teach you, right, future Hokage-sama?"

"I don't need to know those nasty stuff," grumbled the poor boy.

"Not yet."

A pause.

"So would you be able to sleep now?"

"I guess," the blond answered, pondering about the nuggets of wisdom his teacher had just imparted. As always, Hatake Kakashi belied his lazy appearance. He could be serious, when necessary, and always dependable. Still, Naruto wasn't quite satisfied. The philosophical aspect of the problem was well explored by the Copy Ninja, but poor Naruto wanted something more practical, something he had trouble vocalizing accurately, even after practicing several times alone.

"Excellent. So can I have my quality time alone back now?" Kakashi was starting to close their conversation. Naruto would have to gather his guts and wits quickly.

"But sensei," he sputtered hastily. "Er... I...um, what do I do exactly? I mean, where do I start? How-"

"Oh, you'll know." Kakashi waved him away. "If you want, read and review Icha Icha Paradise. And in Icha Icha Confessions, there's an interesting little chapter for novices that I thought was pretty graphic. It's practically a step-by-step guide."

Naruto glared at him. "Fine, go back to jacking off," he muttered mutinously. "Thanks for nothing."

Kakashi, nodding nonchalantly, went back to reading his infamous book.

"And for everything. Sensei."

"You're welcome. Sleep well tonight, Naruto."

Naruto was about to leave, but then he paused as a notion crossed his mind. "Say, sensei," he said. "Are you still waiting?"

"Eh?"

"For your complement?"

"Naruto..." Kakashi looked up at him seriously. "Unfortunately, not all people are as lucky as you. Or as unlucky as Hinata, depends on where you look at it."

"But there's no harm in waiting, right?" he pressed.

Kakashi pointedly ignored him this time around, so Naruto headed back to his pad.

Today, he had thought of things, like how the sun was lonely and the moon shadowed. But after his talk with Kakashi, another idea struck him. He remembered what Iruka-sensei taught in the Academy, about the sun being a giant flaming ball of gases, about the sun being at the center of the solar system. Of course, the sun wasn't lonely. It had planets revolving around it. And there was the moon, too, basking in its energy, lighting up the nightly skies with the sun's reflection.

But the moon and sun aside, Naruto yawned, discovering he was indeed sleepy.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day. He would need to have ample sleep to wake up fresh and energetic in the morning. Tomorrow was a beginning, and as always, he would greet it with a full grin, a steadily beating heart, and open arms—with his new partner by his side.

As for tomorrow night...

Tomorrow night would come soon enough.

End midnight. 031505

* * *

Thanks to Midnightcrow for betareading. Your comments helped me edit this and shape it more like how I wanted it to come out. I wrote this to practice writing the character Naruto. It's hard trying to give him the right sort of maturity, depth, and change while keeping him in character.

Comments, complaints, and constructive criticism are all very welcome. : )


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